Entering an Open Field

Grounding our value in this precious human birth…

The past five years of my life’s journey have been crucible in quality. The refinement of my mental, emotional, spiritual and material systems through direct hardship has provided an opportunity to transform contracted states of fear, anxiety, worry, and grasping into openness, willingness, surrender, creativity, and an increasingly subtle generosity. By no means do I mean to declare mastery of any of these, but just to point to certain degrees of austerity and the opportunities to discover real value therein.

Of course, the place that I live these experiences is right here in this body. This quadriplegic and paralyzed, often fragile of health, somewhat withered, but sacred vessel of opportunity, has been the ground within which my own awareness of skillful care, resilience, and compassion has been able to grow. Learning the stewardship of this material, psychic, and spiritual being has been one of the most precious opportunities of lifetimes.

At this point in my journey, all these intense forces have produced a wealth of vision, rich relational community, and deeply grounded commitment to action in service at the threshold of our profound global moment. Today I am working joyfully, diligently, and in collaboration with others to produce a meaningful offering into our collective human evolutionary stream.

The other day I was sitting with a mentor of mine, someone with whom I share a deeply familiar friendship, and from whom I am blessed to receive a remarkable stream of wisdom, experience, and loving guidance into the deepest elements of life, love, and light. On this occasion they had evoked my telling them in some detail about the project path that I see laid out before me today.

After some time spent exploring my descriptions of intention and practical application and offering their heartfelt reflection of appreciation and encouragement, this friend asked a simple question. “In all of this good work and positive aspiration, what’s in it for you, what’s in it for Kabir?”

I took this guidance as a sacred instruction, sitting with it for some time and looking for exactly what, in practical terms, did this work mean for me? As mentioned above, so much of my experience over the recent phase of my life has been about austerity, going without, and even falling into some pretty hellish depths, it seemed a wise and nourishing exercise to explore explicitly what might be the mirror side of that dynamic.

I sat down and wrote out a response to this kind inquiry, and when I had finished, I sent it out to my nearest cohort of project collaborators to see if I had left anything out. I meant to send a reply to my mentor and wanted to give it at least a degree of polish.

The reflections I received initially were all positive, with one in particular requesting that I actually share the document more publicly as a way for people to appreciate something more of the heart at the core of our collaborative initiatives (in particular those of Open Field Awakening.) Initially I was reluctant to do so feeling that, while the exercise was very good for me personally, to expose it more publicly might just amount to an exercise in vanity, a distasteful exposé of matters meant to stay more personal and more private. In subsequent conversation it was decided that sharing that work could bring benefit to others, most particularly if it was framed with a little context as I have attempted to provide here.

And so, without further ado…

I hope you will enjoy this journey through my personal reflections on value. Let me invite you also to consider the possible value to yourself of undertaking such an exercise. You may wish to consider the contours of your life, work, and engagements and ask in practical as well as aspirational terms, what’s in it for you? Indeed, in an increasingly complex world we are going to have to take some transformational leaps and bounds in our abilities to “be there for one another” — in our abilities to be there for the fullness of this planetary experience — this is all undoubtedly grounded in our ability to “be there for ourselves.”

For myself, I considered the question from what felt like a useful taxonomy; from the perspective of my spirit, my mental/emotional and relational body experience, and material existence. I did so, as you’ll see, without embellishment as this was a self focused journaling exercise, so please forgive if it reads a little stiff to the eye set some apart. :-)

One more note before you dive in — I humbly ask that you keep in mind as you read that the following words are not meant to describe you or apply to anyone but myself. Certain declarative statements, or values laden interpretations are meant only as an out loud journaled self-reflection — making myself vulnerable to myself — and should not be considered as prescriptive for anyone else.

Open Field Awakening — What's in it for Kabir?

Spiritually: – For me, and from a “spiritual” perspective, the thing of fundamental importance is to open my own awareness most clearly and fully; such that ideas of “I, me, mine” that may otherwise obscure a skillful and compassionate direct action become transparent and thus un-obstructive. In that condition the realized self becomes a unique and empowered agent for evoking that similar clarity from others through which love and compassion can pour forth into the world.

This groundwork of self-realization in essence takes care of itself. Arising in that clarity, we become like the Christ, or the Buddha, responding in skillful means as life, love, and light, a real-time responsivity, care for and evocation of profound majesty in all moments.

From a “spiritual” perspective, any actions whether viewed as work or play must conform to this initial condition. In other words, anything that I do will manifest, in time ripening as my practice, however humble or sufficient, of realizing this great “awakening.”

Considering this, the work of Open Field Awakening is for me a space of practicing that conduct in service to others/the world as response to the scale of relative suffering that I can perceive. Serving as close to this threshold of “the world,” encompasses human beings, animals, ecosystems, indeed the whole biosphere and the sacred ground on which it rests, strives to meet those thresholds of aspiration to embody a meaningful lovingkindness in the span and life of the body I have now.

Mental/emotionally: — One Sufi prayer goes something like this, “all must eat to live and to nourish one another. Let us eat [consume/destroy/transform] consciously, resolving by our work to pay the debt of [realize in harmony] our existence.”

By virtue of our very existence, we each take up space — we impact the world and require something of it. The condition of our arising is one of profound relationship, penetrating to no end of depth, and perhaps more importantly, embodying reciprocity, expansion, contraction, give, and take, distinction and reintegration.

To step fully — to give ourselves in full conscientious commitment — into this dynamic river flowing in an ocean of beauty brings a peace of mind and dignity. Standing tall that we may be seen in our inherent nobility, bending in surrender and giving ourselves that we may know the grace of majesty in service and so revel in the goodness of all things. All of this makes up the ground of a mental and emotional well-being woven deeply into the tapestry of our collectives, families, friendships, communities, cultures, ecosystems and world of teeming life.

By stepping fresh into the work before me each day in these ways, I can nourish and be nourished by a deep flow of fully feeling and fully seeing, knowing myself to be well and fully held in the bosom of our shared loving embrace.

In the simplest of terms, “in it for me” in this domain means the joy of working in collaboration, creatively with others, sharing in labor and awakening together, and celebrating the good fortune we have to be engaged in that work, and the fruits of well community that it provides.

Materially: — In the work I strive to fulfill, in a material sense I/we build in mechanisms of this reciprocity, the [finance] debt aspect identified in the prayer above. “All must eat to live…”

For my own ethic I live to keep these “needs” modest and in service to the spiritual principles outlined in the first part. Fulfillment of these needs is also dependent on the contexts in which I find and live this life. I do not wish to speak to “material rewards” without a clear acknowledgment of the ongoing economic injustices, imbalances, and pathological debt enacted upon ourselves and fellow living beings worldwide. With this, let me describe some more near at hand practical terms…

A humble existence is “in it for Kabir;”

— A modest home and garden with sufficient space for resting, working, entertaining guests, and breathing room for the constant care providers who make my life as a quadriplegic possible in the world. The simple bills, maintenance concerns, decorations, and utilities that come with such accommodation.

— Nutritious healthy foods, from the markets and fresh meal providers, for myself and for those with whom I am dining, in a balanced reciprocity. Sometimes treating others and sometimes being treated myself. The supplemental nutrients both specific to my condition, as well as those naturally necessary in the denatured food systems of the modern world.

— A vehicle sufficient to transport myself, a wheelchair, a care partner, and guests, with appropriate environmental controls and conscientious consideration of economic externalities.

— Various householder necessities; occasional professional services such as legal/financial, etc.; computer equipment, software, etc. (some of which is practically mandated by the accessibility demands of quadriplegia); phone services, office supplies, etc.

— Financial resources available for practicing charitable support of worthy initiatives, individual causes, and basic generosity in the community at large.

— The financial resources to provide salary and dignified support to the necessary professional caregivers who make my work in the world possible in the first place.

— Various disposable and durable medical equipment necessary to upkeep my condition, wellbeing, and general engagement; i.e. wheelchairs, ramps, various adaptive equipment, and other supplies.

— Simple and practical healthcare (some covered through insurance), doctors, dentists, nurses, and other acute care providers and systems thereof.

— Professional therapeutic support such as exercise and/or mental/emotional therapists, acupuncture, massage, and other practices necessary to keep vital and well balanced an otherwise paralyzed and impacted body.

— Engagements in meditation retreats, modal practice communities, and training opportunities appropriate to maintaining and developing my capacities for building wellbeing in myself and the world around me.

— Books.

— The ability to engage in modest long-distance travel for the purpose of furthering connections with others, practicing service in remote locations, and taking advantage of opportunities to meet with special teachers, communities, and other benefactors.

— A modest ability to respond in material terms to opportunities for creative beautification and inquiry, i.e. the creation or curation of artworks in all forms.

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Fin…

Thank you for joining me in this reflection. I wonder, is this a good taxonomy for you; spiritual, mental/emotional/relational, material? Is there another way to frame the exercise that might suit you more personally, something more native to your own indigenous sense of life’s direction? I’d love to hear any thoughts on this particular aspect of things in the comments…